Who is the he my mind yearns so deeply for

woke up one morning
not today or yesterday . . it was just . .a morning
i don't even know if it even happened yet . .
but this particular morning, I was filled with desires and needs
now, usually the things I need are the things that everyone else needs . .
like a shower from time to time, or to do their hair . . maybe even a nice shave
but this need I was having was not a need of actions
and the desire I was feeling was not a feeling for material things . .
It wasn't a need to be closer to God like it usually is if its not either of the references above
actually that would be the first feeling I would have perceived way way before the other two
what I'm trying to get at though . . is it wasn't the three usual feelings I get
I had woke up on this random morning needing human contact
right when I opened my eyes I wanted a hug
now me not being from this planet, and being a robot found this feeling to be rather strange
so long I've been accustomed to having no sense of affection whatsoever . .
but this day . .I needed to feel . . . someone . . . not just any someone but . .
I needed to feel a him
and not in any way shape or form of lust
but of . . Love . . .
Keep in mind that me never having these feelings before I was rather freaked out by this sudden rush of urge to love and be loved
I actually woke up crying
"How dear I shed a human like tear upon my cheek as if I'm made of flesh" I said to myself still shocked
my memory started to race thinking about the last time I was offered a hug but refused and gave a simple handshake
"hugs mean too much" I said . . .but I'll get to that in another story. .
ANYWAYS . . .I went the whole entire day with no human contact . . well. . at least no male contact
for that day I was getting sent home for the first time in years . . . so I could not be distracted . .
yet once I set my place on that spaceship to Jupiter . . . I couldn't help but wonder . . why didn't I go after him ?
. . . whoever that may be