The Silent Prayer

I bowed my head and closed my eyes and spoke nothing but silence
Fearing each word were to come out flat and ugly
like a novice singer's audition score sheet
death on my lips, beauty, faded
feeling not even blood can make my prayers worthy
Laid down my head and thought maybe I should try
but my fear kept me choked up, and disobedient to my conviction
unwilling to fill the air with lies and broken promises
I went to rest in my nothingness

Changes From Dawn

At dawn,I am awake; My eyes, open.
My legs,stronger; my courage, apparent.
The day unravels, the setting is clear.
I am surrounded by my room.
At dawn, I am up. I am wonderous.
At dawn, I dress. I prepare.
At dawn, I'm no longer scared.
Because at dawn, I see everything
for what it truly is.


but at dusk, I am sleepy; my eyes, slanted.
my energy, faded; my courage obliterated.
The night gets darker and I can no longer see.
I am surrounded by the emptiness within silence.
At dusk, I lie down. I am still
At dusk, I undress. I am vulnerable.
At dusk, fear consumes the best of me.
because at dusk, everything I see
slowly vanishes and is no longer in plain sight.

yet what difference does that make?

The Death of Me

Might just be the death of me
I've given out the best of me
But the flash photography
puts boxes to the left of me

But my tears aren't bitter
No, they're not full of shame
They're full of strength
That keeps Satan yelling out my name

His screams are so demanding
It always shook up my soul
But if I could say so myself, Sir
Its kind of getting old

I am his Child
there's no way you can defeat me
Because he's Stronger and Better
And must I add he's Chiefly

He'll never be the death of me
The best of me is plain to see
Dig a little deeper
and you'll only the see the God in me

The Home Mades

Let's pop in the home mades and remember why we're hear
why we love so much, why I killed away all fear

why I shattered my walls, why you gave me another chance
remember why we are each others biggest fans

let's sit face to face, and see each other
I mean really SEE each other, and believe each other

I know the struggles hard, but blessings usually are
and we have to fight for it because of who we are

we are destined, we're connected, we are the great hyperbole
we're still strong emotionally when we fight it out verbally

and the anger might burn right through our sense of minds
but we've been through worse and we'll get stronger with time

together we are unstoppable, tornadoes and tsunamis
and we're royalty and higher than these earthly kings

let's pop in the home mades and hold each other and love
and thank God for sending us each other

Strength

The pieces laid their all over the floor
each one a broken memory of a true love
My hands bloody from ripping out my own heart
but I don't remember how
blood dripped from my fingertips
watered down with my tears
looking like red wine has taken over my soul
then I drift off to sleep
in this room full of sorrow
and God whispers to me
it's time to clean up

My Slut

you're a whore but I can't resist.
light brown and loaded with sweetness.
just a taste of your strength livens me up.
yea, you're a whore but I can't get enough.
Almost everywhere I go, people have had you.
and the ones who haven't don't know what they're missing.
the ones who just tried you, want some more.
because you're the opium to the masses.
the sweet drug that keeps me alert.
and her, and him, all of them.
My coffee, Java, cappuccino, espresso.
The addiction is satisfying to a night untimed.

That Single Friend

Is it the fear of insignificance that chews away at my soul?
The Self Antagonizing ways that makes a touch so cold?

You know, that single friend in my head that tells me these lies?
Because misery loves company, so that wouldn't be a surprise.

She goes "Girl, did you SEE that?" but it's no big deal,
and goes "Girl, did you READ that !?" but I know what he truly feels.

But what gets at me the most is when she stands out her chair;
with her crop top, mini-skirt, her hands would fling in the air.

Screaming to the heavens that I'm no good
that I should've done THIS, and if she was me, she would

Causing me to wonder if she wants my man
and her getting in the way was not apart of this plan

But if that single girl inside of me, wants him as bad as me?
Then I know I'm not the only one who see's in him what I see.
and She's not the only one who wants to be a lover thief.
Their sly eyes, and motives forms this girl inside of me.

The Yearning

Lord I pray to spill my heart
upon this tile floor
that has been laid out in front of me
which blockades me from this door

This door of my bliss
Where I once was adored
yet leaving I have created
this wretched tile floor

This floor of my demise
in which I loath and despise
and it mocks me and my despair
with bitter coldness in it's eyes

Lord if I to spill my heart
upon this wretched tile floor
I feel as I'm capable
of sliding towards this door

Worries will be vanquished
The floor had been washed
with the blood of my heart
each tile to be tossed

The door shall be unlocked
and I will walk in
and be with my sweet daydream
never to leave again

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The Embrace

Words can't describe my heart beat
nor can they describe my smile
for that, may be the reason
why I haven't written for a while
my inclination is to love
to feel and to fill
my infatuation is to love
part us do death till
I've embraced the fear
smothered it with my heart
I've embraced the you
and from you I shalt not depart

Sin

it's the justification of it all
that kills you, me, and the surrounding

Without Dilemma

Contimplation, motivation, rebirth, reincarnation
each breath, each move and each step taken
brings us a second closer to the moment we awaken
the life of our souls, the flesh brought to a quick end
eternity of prosperity and righteousness start to begin
except you set yourself up failure, though you were s'posed to win
damnation and fear is the life you chose to live in
not now but later it starts to show and then thats when
your life comes to a hault due to drowning in your sin
take control now the wage is not a dividend
and when the world shows up ready to take what you owe them
you'll realize why I'm on my knees crying ready to repent
and I know I'm not perfect born without the discipline
but I know Christ died for me so that I can live for him
so I refuse to conform; not of this world I live in
and God deserves more than a lukewarm Christian
so I'm on fire, the flame stays burning deep within