Best Friends

What does a friendship mean to you ? somebody yer cool with, you have their back if you guyz are really that close ? Someone you can talk things over with, even if its the most horrible thing in the world ? . . .. yea . ..well I dont have that many "Friends" in my lifetime lal. Theirs people I think are horribly awesome and If they need my help I'll help them. But My 2 BESTFRIENDS Starr and Breanna (Bri ILY 2 ! nd IMY HARD!) are more like . . sisters. . they don't know each other so it's basically ones my sister on my moms side and the others my sister on my dads side lal. BUT YEA anyways. If I make a promise to them, or tell them I won't do something, I don't do it; and if I do do it (which is hardly ever) I feel terrible. Well . . .rite about now . .I not only broke a promise to Starr "FOR STARR !" I said. . .but I broke a promise to myself. . .and I want to absolutly die. . . .don't worry about what it was . .It wasmt bad . .I just said I wouldn't do it .. .and I feel like theres absolutly no hope on this planet for me to ever forgive myself, like I've lied to myself before but that was a luke warm hour ago so . . .yea . . .but If your in the process of battling between a Paradox . . It's real hard to make the right decision when you want to do both just as equally as bad .. . . anywho . . now I have to tell her that I drank sooooo much pepsi and feel terrible. .knowing that I've been wanting to cut back since forever and I've been doing good so starr: "dude you got a whole box of pepsi . .don't drink it all . . . please ? for me ?" me: "FOR STARR ! . .I don't even want to drink it anyways" and I do good until the last 10 mins before bed and I attack the whole box and had like . . . 7 pepsi's ! . . .I want to die . . . so much fer being a virtuous woman in the making . .i can't even keep my own promises =[